11 Comments

Not that anyone is shocked by riffs on anatomy anymore-female or male-but considering the name, does 5th grade locker room jokes add much? I’m thinking vamps like, “You know you want it” might give you a nice double. “From deep down” is an artisanal water story. And “Never thirsty” for urban dictionary readers.

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After reading this substack for six months, this is the post that finally got me to subscribe.

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You don't suck, Stewie.

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SLIT YOUR THIRST

THE BEST WATER AROUND THESE PARTS

LAP, DON'T SIP

THIS CLAM COMES IN A CAN

TASTES AS CLEAN AS IT SMELLS

WHY GO DRY?

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And since we haven't verbed it yet:

BEAVER YOUR MOUTH

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good one.

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So. Wet.

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You're hired. Now fix your typo on 'suscription' after your snatch line. Peace.

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THANK YOU.

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https://www.engineslc.com/beaver-water

It appears donating to women's empowerment organizations is part of the value prop.

So, naturally:

Buy Beaver.

Support bitches.

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Yeah saw that. Doesn't excuse the shitty writing.

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