Let's Write Some Vulgar Ads For "Beaver" Water

The ones their agency wrote suck. So I wrote a few, write yours in the comments.

New campaign for Beaver “mountain” water. L—Lame, first-thought line. R—“PUT YOUR BEAVER TO WORK”? That makes no fucking sense, unless this billboard was targeting hookers. You suck Little Big Engine (the responsible Utah ad agency whose name also sucks).

Here’s part of their press note:

“When it takes a company 12 years to get the bottling rights to the best-tasting water in the country, their sense of humor probably got lost along about year five. But not this company, oh no…Beaver Beverage Company (BBC) is out with a campaign for the launch of Beaver Water that celebrates in all its funny forms a somewhat vulgar term for female genitalia.”

Beaver is not at all vulgar, you twerps. Jizz Bunker, that’s “somewhat vulgar”.

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I spent exactly 10 minutes writing these.

See, because SNATCH is an informal word for Vagina.

I eat BEAVER. I LOVE eating Beaver, though it’s a little gamey.

See, because…nevermind. EDIT: Don’t need the “IT”.

Your Turn, CWs and wanna-be CWs.