Into The Creative Void Comes The Nihilist Tagline Writer
Nihilism thrives wherever hopelessness exist. And these days, nearly nothing is as hopeless as the State of the Advertising Tagline.
YES, I am a bit obsessed with Taglines. Sorry/Not Sorry.
Taglines used to give you real reasons to buy: The One Beer To Have When You’re Having More Than One; Nothing Sucks Like An Electrolux; Let Your Fingers Do The Walking; When It Absolutely Positively Has To Be There Overnight. These taglines didn’t just increase sales, they launched and grew companies. They became part of pop culture.
Today’s taglines? Say Nothing. Mean Nothing. And into this creative vacuum has crawled even more meaninglessness: ad “influencers,” sponconners, NTFs, and meta-ads in the Metaverse.
Also, inevitably, into this void comes…the Nihilist Tagline Writer (“NTW”, here forward). Here, he “corrects” eight taglines.
1.
This life insurance seller’s motto is already pretty fucking grim, considering the unspoken two words at the end of the line (“to death”). But the NTW believes the above paraphrasing of a Nietzsche quote makes for a more urgent call to action.