Young Creatives: How To Be Better.
This is how.
The first step to curing your creative suckitude is to admit that you suck, preferably at a CSA (Creative Suckitude Anonymous) meeting. But, in a pinch, a mirror will do: scream “I suck, creatively!” at least ten times. Also, punch a heavy bag as you’re saying it (a pillow will do).
I’ve been doing this for 30+ years. I’m better than most of you. No, I’m not going to show you my portfolio because only people who hire me get to see it. But, just know, that it’s better than yours: I’ve made award-winning spots for Uni-Ball pens, Drug-Free America (while stoned), and Pay Half stores, more.
Below are two ads I did for officesupplies dot com in the late 90s during the Dot Com Boom. It’s not my best print work, but it’ll give you an idea how I think, and more importantly, how you should think.
Left—I looked up slang words for “dollars” in the very imprecise, very useful Roget’s Thesaurus (the physical book), found a stock photo of a Kissing Fish, bam, cheap ad. It ran full-page nationwide in USA Today. Right—Yes, that’s Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson after a bad trip to the barber shop. (We didn’t seek his approval.)
I was taught at SVA to always think visually—even if all the client can afford is stock photos—and the copy will often write itself. A lesson within that lesson is if you cover the headline and just look at the interesting/amusing visual and logo, you should have no idea what the ad is about.
(NOTE Not long after the ads ran, AT&T Venture Capital pulled all their funding from Office Supplies and their ad budget went from $10 million to zero.)
OK. Let’s get to the nitty-gritties. Yes, as always. since I started this Substack three years ago, you have to pay me for creative lessons: here. This info is worth a fuck-ton more than $40.