Copyranter Two Point Zero

Copyranter Two Point Zero

Why Can't Marketers Speak Like Normal Humans?

"Imbue" this with meaning, asshats.

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Copyranter
Mar 10, 2025
∙ Paid
At that moment, Gemma was every Creative in a marketing meeting. #Severance

Copyranter Two Point Zero is a reader-supported publication. “support” = money. I’ve been doing this Substack for over three years, five articles every week, and I’m not even paying a third of my rent. So maybe one or three of yous 1500+ free subs could throw me a few bucks. Or you should unsubscribe. Because, sorry, I’m never lowering my 90% paywall.

I haven’t had to sit through a marketing meeting, either in-person or on Zoom, for a couple of years, thank fucking Jesus.

Marketers are Lexicon Devils. Copywriters understand that language is a precious thing; it is not to be messed with. Modern marketers, however, take innocent words and ass-rape them into their Dystopian Newspeak.

See Below. Please buy a subscription to help me figure out WTF these nine bozos are saying.

PREVIOUSLY: Why Are marketers Hellbent On Torturing The English Langauge To Death?

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