The Most Annoying Big Pharma Ads
And if you watch ANYTHING on TV you can't avoid them, because the companies literally have more media dollars than pills.
I’ve never worked on a Big Pharma drug account. But I’ve been in creative meetings at their fancy headquarters. Every face, every image, every move, every word in their ads is micro-managed through about 100 levels of approval. The result is purposely generic commercials presenting an alternate-dimension world where everything is blandly perfect and everybody is attractive but not too attractive and all of the “sufferers” (actors) are smiling and happy. It’s skeevy.
OZEMPIC (diabetes)
The most annoying one, for me at least.
OZEMPIC MARKETING MANAGER: “Pickleball is trending now, right?”
AGENCY ASS-LICKER: “Oh yeah! It’s hot like fire!
OZEMPIC MARKETING MANAGER: Buy a hundred paddles and get the Pickleball auditions going ASAP!
Extra-annoying (for me) is that Novo Nordisk ($140 billion Danish pharma company) is using the Pilot song “Magic” as the linchpin for their campaign because its chorus starts with “Oh Oh Oh It’s Magic”—but “It’s Magic” is replaced with “Oh-zempic”. “Magic” was one of the best songs on the subpar jukebox in the rec room of the Jersey Shore campground of my youth. Therefore: I’m made to feel extremely fucking old every time I don’t hit mute in time when these piece of shit commercials pop up.
Anyway, the song use is all about NAME RECALL, the biggest concern for drug companies because their drugs have such janky names—names that Big Pharma pays Big Money for to firms that specialize in this stupid process.
SKYRIZI (psoriasis)
Unlike the Ozempic team, Skyrizi (via AbbVie, a $56 billion Chicago company) is going with an original song in their ads, “Nothing Is Everything”. I can’t find who sings it, but I hate it and its meaninglessness. Nothing is also Nothing. And Everything is also Nothing. Or is it? Philosophy majors please weigh in.
Somebody at AbbVie or their agency had the Light Bulb Moment to always put a white SKYrizi logo against blue sky. Again = NAME RECALL.
LEQVIO (Hypercholesterolemia)
This is John (an actor) who has (probably not) had a heart attack. Do you like not-John’s face? Because that’s all we see in this ad as he changes outfits ≈ 27 fucking times in about 50 seconds. Here’s the stupid script:
“This is John. He never gives up. No matter what life throws his way. High cholesterol. Heart disease. 17 fad diets (nice, FUCK eating healthy, fatty, take our dangerous drug). Five kids. Three grandkids (he’s a great American producer). One heart attack (slipping that in). And 18 passwords that seem to change daily (WHO’S CHANGING THEM?)” And then legal copy…
Not-John either has a fake mustache or fake not-mustache, depending on which of the 27 shots of him you’re looking at. I do hope not-John was paid well. (He was, believe me. Leqvio is via Novartis, a $131 billion Swiss behemoth).
Nothing from nothing leaves nothing