Nine "Sexual" 1960s Ads That Don Draper Could Have Written.
Let's go inside the mind of the sexiest (fake) copywriter in advertising history.
Let’s go back in time and pretend Double D was a real copywriter. Here’s some real ads from the 60s one can envision him banging out on his Smith-Corona. Vintage Ad Week continues.
1. Cutex (1965)
Don chuckles as he types “Purrrrrring” (yes, SIX r’s). As he types he’s thinking of another pink “P” word. Happy with headline he moves on to copy. His dress pants are tightening. “wonderful…wickedest”—is that even a word? Don doesn’t consult a dictionary, He knows it works.
2. American Airlines (1968)
Don definitely had Mother Issues. And Don definitely liked to be “serviced” by older (married) women. And Don likes jet airplanes, of course, because of the shape. The headline makes him nervous, but that’s a good creative feeling. His mind is already at the casting, he already has her picked out.
3. Calvert Whiskey (1965)
But Don is hard, as he’s thinking up this campaign. He snickers as he writes “lady drinks”. He guffaws as he types “swallows”. He is in his element. Next assignment.
4. Caloric (1962)
Caloric (Maytag brand) oven ads. I can see Don typing these headlines, late night, lung dart in mouth, third rye-neat on desk. Other rejected lines he typed: 1—Cold On The Outside Hot On The Inside; 2—Turn Her On Again And Again; 3—MAKE ME DINNER NOW.
5. Smirnoff (late 60s)
Don watched in the late 60s as something called “Women’s Lib” swept the country. Women were carrying signs and weren’t shaving their legs and underarms. And, they were burning their bras. This Don liked, a lot. Dames were also drinking more hard liquor. Smirnoff told Sterling-Cooper they wanted an ad targeting these new women.
Bras and Booze? Right in DD’s wheelhouse.
6. Piping Rock (1966)
Piping WHAT? Don LOVES the brand name. He knows he must include it in the headline, and does. He splashes some on himself and continues writing headlines…but he already knows he has the winner.
7. Brazilian Coffee (1964)
Don had recently seen some of Lichtenstein’s work at Leo Castelli’s gallery downtown. ‘Shit’, he thought: ‘I’ll get Salvatore to copy this style and write a no-headline ad!' “Button Nose”—he calls what’s-her-name that. Now, her thought bubble. “As soon as Jim finishes…fucking me…” No, OK, “Kissing”. But they’ll know what I’m saying—*chuckles*.
8. Pernod (late 60s)
Don of course had had lots of kinky hook-ups. He had heard of “Water Sports” but had never experienced it. Pernod told the agency that Pernod and water was very popular in France. The visual immediately popped into Don’s head, and he laughed out loud as he typed the headline. OH FUCK YES.
9. Tab (1969)
Diet soda! New product! It’s 1969, and his career is waning, but he is piqued. Don likes curves but he knows most of his 19 mistresses worry/worried about their weight. He feels he’s the perfect man to write this ad. He needs to get in the heads of these tomatoes. Literally, he thinks. Stick in their minds, he thinks. The copy just flows from there…
(all images from my archive)
Fucking gold!
Outstanding!