It’s Vintage Ad Week here on copyranter. I, periodically, grow weary of shitting on shitty current ads. So…
Before the Creative Revolution of the late 1950s, advertising was pretty batshit all over the place. You’re gonna see some weird stuff in the next five days.
Corn Flakes (1915)
“Corpse Boy” Illustration by the great J. C. Leyendecker, who was much, eh, kinder to visages of men. Here, Corpse Boy pretends to like the “taste” of Corn Flakes, but of course can’t taste anything, because he’s dead. He's a "live wire?" No, he isn't. He's a reanimated corpse. Via a 1915 issue of Good Housekeeping. Image via.
Trix (1958)
COPY:
"Even five-year-old young ladies need a bowl of fruit-color, fruit-flavor Trix to change their morning outlook from grim to gay...you kind of fall in love with the way its bright fruit colors wink up at you through the milk…”
Pre-”Silly Rabbit, Trix Are For Kids” Trix ad with an obviously severely-traumatized girl with the “thousand-yard-stare”. Soon, she will have a collection of headless Barbies. I think Daddy needs to be brought in for questioning (via).
Cream Of Wheat (1921)
Yes, 1921, not 1821. “GIDDAP, UNCLE SLAVEY! (via)
Grape Nuts (1920)
Visual portion of the ad. That hat—the bells are so he can’t sneak up on anyone. The other two look like Stepford Children. Copy reads: “Baby Faces grow plump and ruddy on Grape-Nuts”. Baby Diapers grow plump and shitty on Grape-Nuts. (via).
Corn Flakes (early 1900s)
Pirate Girl will blow your fucking brains out, little brother. Get outta here and go eat your shitty pap (via).
Corn Flakes (1950s)
An insane Midwestern farm boy *screaming"* at the box rooster art. After every bite, he would scream at the rooster, milk and bits and spittle flying out of his mouth. One morning, at dawn, he took Daddy’s shotgun outside and blasted the bejesus out of their cock-a-doodle-doing real rooster (via).
Corn Flakes (1909)
Yawning Devil Baby conjuring evil spirits to kill her parents (via).
Corn Flakes (1890s)
A literal Child Of The Corn (via).
Post (1950s)
Not so much the kid, but Jesus that fucking mask is a horror movie monster franchise waiting to be created (via).
Corn Flakes (1950s)
Oh YEAH? But what about when she was “very, very” bad? Look at that ominous face. That spoon will soon be replaced with a chef’s knife (via).