What If Corporate Lawyers Wrote Taglines?

Lawyers loathe creativity. Below are hypothetical in-house lawyers' angry responses to ad creatives in imaginary internal tagline meetings.

Lawyers loathe creativity because creativity means “risky” thinking, going out on a limb. Corporate lawyers hate limbs. Most of these taglines are not creative taglines, but they do all make hazy, unsubstantiated “claims”. Lawyer revisions on the right.