Eight Vintage Ads That Didn't Mess Around.
Violence, death threats, child abuse, scare tactics.
Yes, I also have a huge archive of vintage advertising. This is just a taste. More to come. PREVIOUSLY: The 10 Scariest World War II STD Ads.
1. BELL (1938)
Fauxhawk Baby is spittin’ pissed. Copy highlights: What happens "if I have a nervous breakdown...or a burglar comes along." This baby is more hipster (with the hair and the wife-beater and the whining) than all of Williamsburg Brooklyn combined. From a 1938 issue of Scientific American.
2. CHANEL No. 5
Yeah, let’s underline “alive”. And then, put images of Einstein in the mushroom cloud. Cold War advertising at its finest.
3. Flobar
Staying with Cold War scare ads: housewives—are your children(‘s clothes) protected from A-BOMB CONTAMINATION? WELL? Flobar…”can be carried about for instant use”. "But mom, I don't have any skin”. "Well then go hide under your desk, Billy. Mommy’s guzzling gin”.
4. TETLEY
Boy on the right’s ass has been beaten. Repeatedly. I was beaten, whipped, slapped, etc. Were you beaten? Of course not, Millennial pussies.
5. BRIGG Beer (Norway)
"Our brew!" screams the line on this 1970s Norwegian ad for Brigg beer. After two more mugs, they went skinny dipping in the local fjord. The Will Ferrell doppelgänger almost kills the vibe with that friggin' ascot/kerchief.
6. Albany Life Insurance (UK)
Talk about ads that wouldn’t fly today. Read the copy; it’s loaded with “reasons to buy”. Ad by Sir Frank Lowe (Yes that Lowe, as in Lowe Worldwide).
7. United States Treasury Department (1918)
Well, “women of America”? Kathy of Kansas? Betty of Buffalo? Joan was burned at the fucking stake. The least you could do is buy a coupla frggin’ war stamps. Nice historical backhand slap at the British, too. Art by William Haskell Coffin.
8. Dr. Pepper
Oh, you drink “Coca-Cola”? Here’s your bib, weak child. Yes, that line predates Bud’s “King Of Beers” tagline.
Solid commentary. Five stars.