Best Examples Of SFW Porn Advertising

You gotta get visually creative.

RELATED: Three funny SFW porn TV spots via Canada.

Most of us will never get a chance to work on a porn assignment. No matter, look at these ads and drool longingly.

Beate-Uhse (Germany)

Mesmerizingly brilliant spot for the German erotic TV channel’s child lock feature. Boobs become a bird, penis becomes a bear. “You’ll See It, Your Kids Won’t”. It’s perfect! Print ads from the campaign below. Ad agency: Kempertrautmann, Hamburg.

Now you see em, now you don’t.

I’m equally turned on and off by these.

Porn Blocking Software (Germany)

OK, not technically porn ads, but hilarious visual ideas for “blocking” porn. Apparently this concept was “stolen” from 4chan and other sources. Who cares. There are no truly original ideas anymore. Ad agency: Springer & Jacoby, Hamburg.

Sky Blue Movie Channel (Italy)

Very classy spot for “real connoisseurs” of porn. Brava. Ad agency: Forchets, Milan.

Lust (Denmark)

The birds and the bees and the flowers and the fucking. Very nice illustrations for Lust, a porn shop in Copenhagen. Left—the bluebird of happiness is looking extra happy. Right—I don’t think bees give each other stinger oral. Or maybe they do. I wasn’t taught that in Sex Ed. Ad agency: Uncle Grey, Denmark.

Sex Cinema Venus (The Netherlands)

“Vintage porn on 8mm”. Sex Cinema Venus is (was, RIP) the oldest adult movie theater in Amsterdam's red-light district and one that showed only movies from the '70s, before VHS and Brazilians. Ad agency: BBDO Amsterdam.

Playboy (Germany)

Well, it is Safe For Work if you don’t look too closely. The female body parts headline reads: “Wer Sagt Dass Männer Nicht Gerne Lesen?” Translation: “Who Says That Men Don't Like To Read?” Creative use of boobs for the umlaut in Männer and the dot in the question mark. One nit, the headline should have been: Who Says That Men Don’t Read Playboy? Ad agency: Philipp und Keuntje, Hamburg.