8 Ad Mascots That Will Be Here Long After Humans Are Dead
Future alien visitors will see many Ronald McDonalds sitting on benches.
Just a small sample. Part two of: In Our Dystopian Future You WILL Be Advertised to. This is the Bugs and Aliens version.
Charles “Entertainment” Cheese
(Spotted in a landfill, via) Chuck E. was originally a rat with a New Jersey accent in 1977 and has since become more of a “mouse”. Much like real rats, animatronic Chucks will live forever.
Ronald McDonald
McDonald’s officially retired the creepy fuck in 2016. No matter. His plastic molds still sit on benches all around the world, even after the restaurants are destroyed. Even fire can’t kill him. Neither will the Apocalypse.
The Scrubbing Bubbles
Created by Dow Chemical, both the bathroom cleaner’s actual bubbles and the toy mascots contain forever chemicals. You can buy one on Etsy.
Mr. Six
The young-ish British actor who portrayed the disturbing Six Flags geezer is quite alive and healthy. His “musical” dolls will be too, til the end of time. Below, his likeness lives on at a dead New Orleans park.
The Spongmonkeys
Sub chain Quiznos introduced these things in ads in 2003. The ads didn’t last long. But the mascots’ likenesses will be found and puzzled over by future non-human Earth inhabitants.
Battery Bunnys
Duracell introduced their bunny mascot in 1973. Energizer introduced theirs in 1988, as a response to Duracell. Toy and puppet versions of both will keep going and going long after were gone.
Kool-Aid Man
All walls will crumble. All humans—of which there are many—who have cosplayed as the pitcher with limbs will have turned to dust. But The Man will still be around, in various forms.
Mr. Peanut
The mascot with spats and visible ballsack (earler versions) committed “suicide” in 2020. But of course he came back a month later as a baby nut, then as a legal age nut six months after that. And now he’s back in Sunday’s Super Bowl. His statue base may crumble but his plastic likenesses—of which there are millions around the world—will witness humans perish.