I’m repeating this intro from yesterday because I’ve attracted a shit-ton of free subscribers this month. Bear with me, long-time readers.
NOTE #1: So, predictably, since I’ve (TEMPORARILY) lowered my paywall, freeloaders have rushed to my Substack like corpulent southerners to a Golden Corral buffet breakfast.
Not one fucking person has bought a subscription to my Substack in September (update: there has been one (1) person—thank you). I am not well-off. I’m not writing a book. This is my job, my only source of income.
So: please consider buying a sub ($40/year, $5/month), here. Thank you.
NOTE #2: New subs: read this short industry interview to learn more about me.
Know that I do cover good currents ads, when I find them, which is pretty fucking rare, because the state of ad creativity is most-accurately described as: shit-awful.
Therefore, If I only covered new ads, it would be 90% shit-awful ads, which would send me to the woods/mountains/desert to work on the next great American novel, or at least the first ever great ad industry novel, which wouldn’t get finished because I’d get eaten by a bear/pack of coyotes/aerie of bald eagles. I do also cover the shittiest of the shit-awful ads every month, fyi.
OK, to the topic of this article: self-important Copywriters. Copywriters always striving for that perfect quip. But your stupid wordplay sucks. Your groaner of a pun sucks. And your “clever” meme subhead sucks.
I went into more depth on how to be a better copywriter here, two years ago. Read that article and learn a few things.
Also: it’s been proven: people prefer visuals to words, ad infinitum. So: use the fewest words possible in your ads (print and video), ZERO being the ideal number. And try to ideate an unexpected visual that sells the product benefit. I’ve written about this twice before, here and here. Read those articles to see visually brilliant ads.
And now I’m back, beating that poor very dead horse yet again because you young creatives have not learnt a thing. Here we go.
1. BOSE (Singapore)
Noise-canceling headphones ad from 2009. Silently crying baby mimes, never not funny. I’m sold on the product without your useless fucking headline. Ad agency: Euro RSCG, Singapore.
2. VW BEETLE (USA)
1966 ad. Ad agency: Doyle Dane Bernbach NYC, of course. See: thinking visually doesn’t even require a crazy visual. Just the product and white space.
3. KÖMMERLING Soundproof Windows (Chile)
Or: you can push that visual envelope off a fucking cliff by turning your product into the blade of a guillotine chopping a noisy fire truck in half. You don’t even need the headline. From 2009. Ad agency: Proximity.
4. KEEP NY CLEAN (NYC)
Back to 1955. OK, yes, you need the line here. But what do you notice first? The 20-feet fucking tall garbage basket.
5. SKITTLES (China)
These were spec ads created by Xilong Liu. Jack and Mona are made completely from Skittles. Why? Why the fuck not. Shove your strategy up your pooper.
4. SMART CAR (Canada)
No headline. No product. Just a simple as shit shot. From 2009. Ad agency: BBDO, Montreal.
7. FIAT (USA)
A muscle car. Literally. Sure, the visual is heavily retouched, but those naked painted human bodies are actually physically forming the Abarth. It took 40 circus performers, dancers and contortionists to make up the ad (not all are in the shot, obviously). The ad garnered Fiat HUGE earned media numbers. From 2013. Ad agency: he Richards Group.