We Have a New Nominee for the Spokes-Douche Hall of Fame
He doesn’t have a spokes-name, so we’ll call him 29.99 moving forward. (His real name is John Hoogenakker, an actor who’s acted in some well known shows. I’m not calling him a douche, just his Spectrum character—though, as we know, many actors are douches.)
His douchiness is not all his fault. Spectrum’s “concept” (here’s the ad) of showing, and having him say, “29.99” as many times as possible within 30 seconds amplifies his annoyingness. But it’s his delivery of his lines—dripping with smug condescension—that earns him this nomination. Plus, yeah, he does look like a douche.
“Hector” The State Farm Guy: Ten years ago, before “Jake”, who everybody (not me of course) loves, there was Hector (Eddie Matos). Not surprisingly, State Farm has tried to scrub all his spots from the web.
Below, two assholes review a couple of his spots. Try to ignore them, they are dreadfully unfunny. But watch the video to see why pretty much everyone hated Hector. The ad where he’s sitting in a booth alone spying on the locals was probably the worst one produced.
If you searched “State Farm Guy in 2011, this is what you got:
Check out the “I Hate The State Farm Guy” Facebook page for more.
“Mr. Opportunity” for Honda
“This deal is irresistible, kinda like me.” That’s how this spokes-douche—the douchiest 2-D spokesman in advertising history—introduced himself to me over 15 years ago. (He was voiced by actor Rob Paulsen.) His sign-off was: “I’m Mr. Opportunity and I’m knocking” (he then “knocked” on the screen).
Later in the campaign, Honda actually inserted him into a dance club scene where his slick move was called “The Knock”.
NOTE: There have been several CEO spoke-douches in the last 20 years. Two notables: Men’s Warehouse’s George Zimmer, “You’re gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it”. And eHarmony’s Dr. Neil Clark Warren who said this about his own parents’ marriage (via his Wikipedia page): “They had a nice marriage, but they were not a very well-matched couple… My dad was just so stinking bright, and my mom was so sweet, but she was two standard deviations below him in intelligence." How sweet.