Uncomfortably Funny Ads That Would Get Arrested By Today's Woke Police
It's called "pushing the envelope", ya bunch of humorless turd-brains.
***TRIGGER WARNING***
A&W ROOT BEER
Part of a 1998-99 campaign.
KEY LINE:
“THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A MASSAGE?!? I DON’T REMEMBER A MASSAGE!”
WOKE POLICE CHARGES: mocking marriage infidelity…referencing sex work to sell a product heavily consumed by minors…mocking sex workers…mocking women for marrying thick-headed morons…mocking ginger men as thick-headed morons…
COPYRANTER’S DEFENSE: It’s a fucking hilarious, brilliantly-cast ad that perfectly sells A&W’s tasty benefit. This is the best spot from an excellent “thick-headed” concept. See a 2nd ad, that would also be “arrested” for use of the word DUMBASS five times, here.
Ad agency: Foote Cone & Belding, Chicago.
STRIDE GUM
From 2011.
WOKE POLICE CHARGES: OMG, a woman re-chews a piece of gum covered in her dead husband’s ashes?!? Disrespecting death, seniors, senior women…
COPYRANTER DEFENSE: OMG, a woman re-chews a piece of gum covered in her dead husband’s ashes!!!!! What a brilliant idea to sell “long-lasting flavor”.
Ad agency: JWT NYC.
KAYAK
From 2012.
WOKE POLICE CHARGES: Brain surgeon viciously (and “unethically”) abusing maybe-dying patient to perform internet travel searches while he should be performing a life-saving operation. Also, sexist and racist for mocking the intelligence of the Black nurse.
COPYRANTER DEFENSE: Funny-as-Fuck “physical” comedy—the manipulated patient mocking the nurse and high-fiving the doctor = ace humor. Great surgeon casting. Real World Truth: A lot of doctors are fucking assholes.
A 2nd funny ad from the excellent campaign, “Pupils”, would also get arrested for mocking female appearance. As would a 3rd funny ad “Stair Lift”, for mocking and abusing the elderly.
Ad agency: Barton F. Graf 9000.
SAXX UNDERWEAR
From 2013.
WOKE POLICE CHARGES: Are you kidding? A maybe-not underage boy grabbing his private parts while looking at an underage girl? Sexist and criminal.
COPYRANTER DEFENSE: He’s adjusting his balls because he’s not wearing superior Saxx underwear—SHUT THE FUCK UP, HUMORLESS WOKE DOUCHEBAGS.
Ad agency: One Twenty Three West, Vancouver.
PENN TENNIS BALLS
From 1988.
WOKE POLICE CHARGES: A man is literally MURDERED in the ad.
COPYRANTER DEFENSE: Look up “literally”, Woke-ster. This isn’t just the funniest tennis ball commercial ever. It’s also the funniest product demonstration ad ever. Tied off by a great tagline: “You’ve Seen One. You’ve Seen Them All.”
Ad agency: Fallon McElligott.
XBOX
From 2002.
WOKE POLICE CHARGES: A baby, shot out of a woman’s baby hole, ages and DIES by crash-landing in its waiting grave. A BABY IS KILLED. Women. Birth. Old Men. Life. Who/what doesn’t this disrespect?
COPYRANTER DEFENSE: Well this ad was banned in The UK three months after it aired. So maybe you Wokies are right? No. You’re not. Life is short. It’s a fucking metaphor. Or something.
Ad agency: BBH, London.
Note: some of these ads have appeared in previous articles but have been “repurposed” here.
I remember that A&W campaign very well and definitely quote the "Dumass" line from time to time, still