The Unsubtle Phallicism In The Classic "What Sort Of Man Reads Playboy" Ads

It's "hard" to miss.

These ads became one of the most successful Business-To-Business+Reader combo campaigns in advertising history. Just as importantly, they normalized porn for pervs by showing them the “sort of man” they were not.

Many sites have posted collections of these ads. But none them seemingly noticed the many subliminal penises in the layouts. (I researched this semi-extensively.) Think I’m imagining them? Well then, you don’t know the sexualized history of advertising like I do; it wasn’t just about blurry images in ice cubes. Remember: these were Playboy ads in Playboy Magazine.

Twelve Ads:

1958—The campaign ran for over 40 years. Here’s one of the first executions, promoting its readers’ excessive alcohol consumption, complete with ladder doggystyle vodka bottle.

1965—Ad promoting their readers’ credit card usage. Jesus Priapic Overload: the Nozzle, the Hose, the Plane Cone, the Propeller.

1969—Copy promotes their readers’ beer consumption. And bikinis. And Six Thick Corns On The Cobs.

1969—Ad promoting their readers’ sporting purchases. “Is it Hard”, she asked. “Hold my Tube and I’ll show you,” He replied.

1971—Ad selling advertisers on their magazine versus TV programming. Ladies and Mermaids from all over swam to see the skindiver’s long thick tube.

1971—Any Mé·nage à trois is better with a well-groomed man who knows that a beer bottle will do in a pinch while he “recovers”.

1972—Erect tennis racket handle? Maybe I’m reaching? But, as you can see, so is she. Fact: in 1972, at the height of the magazine, 25% of all college men “read” Playboy.

1972—Please: long hard tubes PLUS Camel Toe.

1973—Do I really have to say anything?

1973—Don’t bite, LICK.

1973—We’ll help you “pull it out”, Mister.

1998—(Sigh) I need help adjusting my LONG THICK LENS.