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The Only Current Celebrity Ads That Don't Suck.

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The Only Current Celebrity Ads That Don't Suck.

No, it's not Brie Larson's Nissan ads. He's a "minor" celebrity. But he should be more famous.

Copyranter
Mar 8
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The Only Current Celebrity Ads That Don't Suck.

copyranter.substack.com

PRE-NOTE: Free Subscribers, you are not going to see who this celebrity is or his ads—unless you Buy a Subscription. $5—month, $50—year. Which is more than fair for the ad and marketing knowledge I provide, daily. If you don’t think so, UNSUBSCRIBE. Because going forward, you will be seeing ZERO of my articles, in full, just the previews. Shit-Asses (h/t: “Reservation Dogs”).

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It’s been proven, again and again. Celebrity ads DO NOT work. They cost a shit-ton to produce and yet do not increase sales; they are a complete waste of money. But brands—the marketing “experts”—keep hiring famous people. Why?

  1. Because marketers are stupid.

  2. It’s something to bring up at cocktail parties with their rich friends.

  3. Their brand’s social media metrics increase (which means and does nothing).

  4. It’s much easier than coming up with an actual interesting/humorous conceptual campaign that sells the benefit of the product.

Remember all the celebrity Super Bowl ads? Now: Do you remember any one of them and what they were selling? (I remember Adam Driver and Squarespace only because it was less complicated/noisy than others, and also inane.) It’s been less than a month.

Remember Matt Damon’s shit-awful Crypto.com ad? Lot of money—>straight down the drain.

Does Brie Fucking Larson make anyone want to buy a Nissan?

Does Reese Witherspoon make you want to shop at Crate & Barrel? Does Taylor Swift make you want to drink Diet Coke? Beyonce, Pepsi?

But, there is one man who almost makes me want to buy the product he’s hawking. Almost. I don’t, only because I don’t like the smell. Here he is:

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