Some "Horrorble" Ad Stuff (Free).

Happy Jason Day.

Jason Voorhees never cleans his axe. He likes to smell the dead blood of dead teenager campers. Today is his Caturday. (No, he doesn’t kill cats.)

In celebration of all the dead stupid teenagers he’s made dead—including stupid Kevin Bacon—here’re some “scary” ads and promos.

1. BEYMEN BLENDER (Turkey)

DAT MEATY ASS.

Some Photoshop Body-Chop. Istanbul's Beymen Blender is/was a fashion concept store that's also a butcher shop (for Cannibals, I guess). Anyway, this here is some unsharp Damien Hirst-esque digital meat cutting and rendering Rafineri (the responsible Turkish ad agency).

2. OPORTO FILM FESTIVAL (Portugal)

This ad is via a Portuguese paper sponsoring the 31st FantasPorto—Oporto International Horror Film Festival. Lame, but at least they tried. Note: the actual facebook button uses the right hand, not the left. Ad agency: DraftFCB Lisbon.

3. THE LAST EXORCISM (UK)

This was an official-unofficial promo video via British “glamour model” Emma Glover. (sigh) WAIT FOR IT, as they say.

4. ELMSTA 3000 HORROR FEST (Sweden)

Above, a creepy Deliverance-inspired Hillbilly, chops off the arms of a hooded captive. The violence should have been more realistic, not Monty Python-esque. Also, hillbillies? Really? As the son of Appalachian Trail hillbillies, I am...not at all offended by this. The videos are for the Elmsta 3000 Horror Fest in Stockholm. Part two of the carnage below, where the captive just gets blow’d up real good. Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi, Stockholm.

5. PIZZA PIE-ER (USA)

Ad for the Providence, Rhode Island location of Pizza Pie-er. Looks like a scene from American Horror Story. Taste Buds, I think, should be non-threatening sorts, not suicidal pink Lugo Men. Nice location/photo. Created by Keith Manning, creative/art director, based in Boston.