Copyranter Two Point Zero

Copyranter Two Point Zero

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Copyranter Two Point Zero
Copyranter Two Point Zero
New Brawny Man Brawny, Boring.

New Brawny Man Brawny, Boring.

But 20 years ago, The Man was a goddamn hero of perfect masculinity.

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Copyranter
May 25, 2025
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Copyranter Two Point Zero
Copyranter Two Point Zero
New Brawny Man Brawny, Boring.
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The OG Brawny Man was a blond dimwit.

Brawny, a brand owned by the tree-, air-, planet-destroying Koch Brothers, just introduced a new big Brawny Man, through ad agency JOAN Creative.

He’s big (actor Brock Morse, who’s 6’ 7”, but still somewhat enlarged in the ads). And you summon him but calling “Brawny” through an empty paper towel tube (What if you don’t have one?).

Unfortunately, his personality is not big, nearly non-existent.

Here’s his two new spots. I have nothing to say about them because there is nothing worth saying about them. Sure I could manufacture some vitriol, but I really just don’t fucking feel like it, or want to, and my vitriol reservoir is not bottomless.

(More manufactured vitriol would go here.)

In the past, the Man has been bigger, and even BIGGER (Right, he even sang a song with a misproportioned too-big guitar.) He had some personality, but we never saw his face.


BUT: 20 or so years ago, the Brawny Man was one of the best brand mascots we’ve ever seen. Sure he was tough, but also amazingly sensitive, and goddamn funny.

Below, I’ve collected 10 of his funniest spots. Buy a subscription to relive one of advertising’s greatest ever spokes-heroes.

This is my job. Please pay me?

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