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Let's Write Some "Authentic" Taglines

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Let's Write Some "Authentic" Taglines

Taglines are mostly hooey. Some taglines are more hooey-er than others, and need "authentic" revisions. Six "Real" taglines below.

Copyranter
Jan 18
5
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Let's Write Some "Authentic" Taglines

copyranter.substack.com

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“Authentic”. Maybe the worst marketing buzzword ever. Brands blurt it out on the regular like they know what the fuck they’re talking about. Ask a marketer to describe what it means, grab some popcorn, then watch them mangle the English language with even more meaningless buzzwords, creating a disgusting word salad with rotten lettuce and bullshit-flavored dressing.

I’ve put the following taglines through my proprietary Bullshit Detector. It then spit out 100% bullshit-free “authentic” revisions.

Starting with some alcohol Tags.

1. HENNESSY

An Odyssey! So that’s the blood of 108 dead suitors in every drop (eww). Let’s dial back the bombast about a billion notches, you French Fucks.

Homer has dropped law suit.

2. STELLA ARTOIS

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