"TIME TO MOVE TO RUSSIA"—a measured review.

"Winter is coming".

Last week, The country released an official promotional commercial encouraging Europeans to move to the Motherland. Let’s take a looksie.

First, the copy:

“This is Russia. Delicious cuisine. Beautiful women. Cheap gas (oh, SNAP). Rich history. World famous literature (no need to move there for this). Unique architecture. Fertile soil. Cheap electricity and water. Ballet. Cheap taxi and delivery. Traditional values. Christianity. No cancel culture. Hospitality. Vodka (lol). Economy that can withstand thousands of sanctions (remains to be seen). Time to move to Russia! Don’t delay…Winter is coming.

The male voiceover is a quite confident, intimidating even, but not very “welcoming”. “Cheap” is said three times (not in front on “women” though, which could be a big draw to a certain male demographic). There certainly are some appealing points made. And the call to action is nicely urgent, though winters are not pleasant in Russia.

Also, if you are a male, the possibility of forced conscription needs to be considered, especially if you’re Western European male. Also, there are no Starbucks there now—a huge drawback for many of you.

Let’s look at some of the (stock) visuals:

Eh, looking to lure the Pedo Demo? The age of consent in Russia is 16. These “women” are not 16+.

Head scarfs are fine…as long as you don’t wear them religiously. Also don’t be Black, Brown, Jewish, or LGBTQAI2S+. Considering the woman in the middle, this stock photo was not shot in Russia.

What is that, generic lab vodka? What The Fuck.

The parody videos are of course going up left and right. But hey: at least they’re trying.

NOTE: It’s only been a week, and this could end up being a funny fake ad. But right now, it looks real, and quite funny.