I'll Make You An Ad For $40.

One-time offer.

• Creatives: I’ll make you a spec ad (three executions) for your real assignments (or your portfolio); you just need to buy a yearly subscription here. If you’re already paying me, just pay me another $40.

• Non-Creatives: I’ll make you an ad (again, three separate ideas) for whatever you may need an ad for: you tell me. Again, you just need to buy a yearly subscription here.

• FYI: My pro freelance day-rate for ad agencies was $500.

• I miss making ads…I LOVE making ads! I’m fucking good at it.

• Email: copyranter(at)gmail

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Below are 10 useless stock photos I turned into useful ads. Just to give you an idea of how sick/creative my mind is.

1.

Via iStock. I’m going to use this image as the centerpiece of a spec campaign email pitch to Walmart CEO and Tennessee good ole boy Doug McMillion. My ≈ 1,000 Hillbilly cousins are his core clientele.

Fellow veteran creatives: how many stock photos have you looked at in your career? Tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands? You know the mental pain of pathetically endlessly scrolling through absolutely awful images for clients who don’t want to pay for photo shoots. When you actually find a usable image, it’s fucking euphoric. These here are far from usable.

YES, you have to buy an annual subscription to view nine more of these brilliant layouts.