How To Write Like An Asshole, But Good*.

*Yes OK, "Well", STFU.

Some brands can pull off being Assholes. Others, whiff badly.

First: How not to do it.

Berocca (UK)

L—Jerking off to naked photos of himself keeps this Cunt “up all night”. R—This Cunt’s parents are a “Sir” and a “Dame”.

Berocca is a “fizzy” drink that “supports mental sharpness and physical energy”. Berocca can stuff their fizzy drink up their asshole assholes. They’ve created “anti-heroes” that we are supposed to hate-love. Yeah-Nah, they’re just privileged cunts, against whom your fucking fizzy drink sure as shit ain’t gonna help me conquer. Nothing will, except poison or maybe a knife—since this is England, aka “Knife-Crime Island” (h/t: Alex Balk, wherever he is). Ad agency: JWT, London.

L—She’s an unemotional robotic Cunt. R—He’s on half my salary because he’s a trust fund Cunt.

OK, now below is how you write good asshole ad copy. It’s one of my favorite campaigns. And you have to buy a subscription to see the nine ads.