HOT TAKE: Virgin's "Highland Rider" Ad Is Bad

Many media and ad sites have been praising it, because they don't know their ads from a hole in the ground.

NOTE: Starting immediately, I’m starting a new HOT TAKE weekly “feature” where I “hotly” review new-ish ads. “People” have asked me why I don’t review many new ads. The answer is: Because most of them aren’t worth writing more than one word about: BORING. But, moving forward, I will give it a try. There will be bad reviews, good reviews, meh reviews, and puzzling reviews. None of them will be very long.

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I love animals. I love this highland cow. However, I don’t love this Virgin Media ad.

Why don’t I love this “cute” ad? Well, I don’t like fake digital imagery involving animals. But that’s not really it. The track, “She’s Like The Wind” by Patrick Swayze (from Dirty Dancing), doesn’t move me. But that’s not it either.

“Like a true nature’s child, we were born, born to be wild…” (better track choice)

Why? BECAUSE THERE ISN’T A GOOD PAYOFF OR TWIST to the cuteness. “Why walk when you can ride?” That’s IT? This is how you’re selling fast WiFi, Virgin? I feel cheated by this cute cheap trick. Where the fuck is the cow riding to? Cows don’t do a lot of “walking” in the first place. They graze, and mosey a little bit. The press note “explains” the concept:

“…the film depicts the story of a highland cow who, inspired by epic biking scenes she's seen streamed over Virgin Media WiFi (how the fuck are we supposed to know this, is there a scene on the virtual cutting room floor), goes to better and beyond by taking to the tarmac on a motorbike. The cinematic TVC opens on a close up of a highland cow’s face, with a view of the Scottish Highlands landscape behind…the camera pulls out to reveal an eye catching scene of the cow roaring along on a motorbike as she embarks on her own adventure. The viewer accompanies the ride with her for a while, and then, with the wind in her hair, she races off into the distance. The campaign strapline ‘Why walk when you can ride?’ voiced by celebrated actor, Peter Mullen, brings the film to a close and aims to leave viewers with the feeling of never settling for slow when you can have fast.

Yeah well, it aimed, and it missed. Ad agency: VCCP, London.