Gary Vaynerchuk Is Full Of Poop.

He hates ideas, but he has never created a creative ad in his 46 years. Yet advertisers and marketers hang on his every word.

Vaynerchuk (“Vee” or “V” to his sycophants) runs VaynerX, a “communications” company. and its subsidiary Vayner Media, a “media” company. He is not a creative professional.

What caused me to finally write this examination was the below Campaign article ($) from earlier this week:

He made this puzzling statement in reference to his claim that his London shop has finally earned “credibility as a creative AOR”.

“Creative relevance machine”? So! The next Bernbach? Lois? Ogilvy? McElligott? Bogusky? Copyranter? Hmm. Yeah-Nah. Stay in your lane, buck-o, the marketing bullshit lane.

To his marketing bullshit.

Of course he would say this, possessing much more of the latter than the former. Creative skills, Sir, are what is needed to create effective memorable ads (or content, as you and other marketing “gurus” call them). Passion without skills, is USELESS vis-á-vis creativity.

Ha WHAT? V-man has said much about the importance of “execution”. He has also dissed ideas a lot. While execution can certainly ruin a great ad idea, without the ideas, the concepts, you got NUTHIN’. Try executing that, pal.

100% fucking wrong. See previous commentary.

“Dream” here is V-speak for ideas. It is not easy coming up with great, original ad ideas. Go ahead Gary, create a great original :30 video selling any product or service. No budget restrictions. I’ll hold my fucking breath (and pass out).

Oh you clever Belarusian boy. All the female marketers of the world are instantly wet. Marketing without content is just empty hot air. Whereas, content alone can absolutely build a brand, build a company.

By “I” he of course means “we”, although I’m sure he has approved and even “tweaked” his creatives’ content. Quantity over Quality. This is a very old media-centric proposal, because of course media companies want brands to run lots of ads lots of times = more media dollars. Is it a great effective ad? Probably not. Who gives a shit, throw as much shit against the wall as you can, maybe you’ll get lucky. Or go bankrupt.

This Dick joke seems to contradick (heh) his above quantity-over-quality quote.

“Bringing value”. There’s a nebulous bullshit buzz-phrase. Nobody who knows anything about creating “storytelling” ads thinks it’s about “pushing” advertising. Gary is just making The “A” Word the Boogieman to fit his narrative. Shame on you, V.

WTF do you have against penguins, douchebag? Penguins are brilliant.

Stealing from the Great One, Wayne Gretzky. #Sad.

At Cannes Creativity Festival in June, with Paris Hilton.