FINE: Here're Three BRIEF Christmas Ad Reviews.
John Lewis, Coke, Guinness.
It’s November Fucking 21st, You Sick Consumerist Fucks.
Here’s a novel fucking idea: How bout you DO something for your loved ones instead of buying them more shit they don’t need. Jesus Fucking Christ.
JOHN LEWIS
OK, well at least shopping is shown. A woman frets at the 11th hour over a gift for her sister. She walks into a soon-closing John Lewis and enters a secret “dreamscape” time machine or something. She revisits how much her sister hates her, or is it how much she hates her sister, and their dead Mother’s there, and lots of conflict moments and FFS, there’re are too many quick scenes and jump cuts, and it’s still too long (The unedited version most be 10 minutes long.) Finally, our hero emerges from the underground dreamscape and emerges from John Lewis with the unknown perfect gift? *many head shakes* Read more takes here, here, and here, if you want. Ad agency: Saatchi & Saatchi, London.
COKE
Coke. The Real Thing. This Coke ad—not the real thing. Created by AI via three studios (never a good sign): Secret Level, Silverside AI, and Wild Card.
The song is ass. There’s no narrative, just a shit-ton of Coke trucks, and oh looksy: The Bears are back, to remind us that Coke is literally killing polar bears by continuing to be—far and away—the largest plastic polluter on planet Earth.
GUINNESS
A pint is turned into a snow globe and back to a pint. Just 15 fucking seconds, thank goodness. Is it creative? No. Is it at all a good ad? Fuck no. Is it the best holiday ad I’ve seen? Yes. Integrated marketing agency: Taylor.