CHRISTMAS EVIL...
Less than joyful reasons for the season.
1. Saint Nicholas.
Nick (the OG “Santa”) was a fourth century Turkish bishop who gave virgin women dowries to save them from prostitution—the gift that kept on giving.
2. BLACKWATER.
Remember private military firm Blackwater? They’ve since changed their name to Xe Services then Academi then Constellis and now they’re officially known as Puppy Dogs & Ice Cream.
In March 2007, their “contractors” murdered 17 Iraqi civilians. Later that same wonderful year, they offered the above X-Mas ornament with their joyful bear print logo for a mere $11.50 (plus shipping). I put it on my tree right next to Rudolph.
3. Pope Benedict XVI.
Ratzinger, or as he liked to be called, ‘Zinger, was pro-Christmas.
4. Bury, Cambridgeshire, England.
5. “Santa Claus”, by Pablo Picasso.
6. BAD MALL SANTA.
7. THE TARGET “HOT” SANTA.
Fuck you, Target (not the stores, good stores).