HOW OLD ARE YOU (part 3)?
Me? I still use a hand crank telephone.
Every once in awhile [like, every fucking day], I get sick and tired of writing about advertising. So, I started a Getting To Know Copyranter series, where I share some personal details.
I write about non-ad topics, like Dystopia, Depression, and, How Old I Am. Here’s Part 2 and Part 1.
Me? I clean my clothes by washing them in a stream and then beating them on rocks. I still have my buggy whip. And a buggy.
Oh, you still have floppy disks, Millennial? That’s fucking cute.
1. MUTLEY
I know what his laugh (usually directed at his inept boss Dick Dastardly) sounded like. It is one of the top ever cartoon laughs along with Scooby-Doo and of course Nelson Muntz.
2. CHILDHOOD TOYS
I had all the three of the above. The Slinky: Yes I had the song memorized. Silly Putty: shit never worked like it was advertised. The Corn Popper: push it and it simulated the popping of popcorn. Annoyingly noisy, Imagine pissed off parents picking it up and hurling it against a cement wall.
3. HIGHLIGHTS MAGAZINES
Common in dentists’ offices in the 60s and 70s. Not exactly relaxing to read as you awaited your pain session. They all included a Goofus and Gallant lesson. Goofus was a Cool Bad Boy.
4.
Yep.
5. WEEKLY WORLD NEWS
In the 1980s, one of the main highlights of going food shopping was looking at, but never buying, the Weekly World News: it was the original Fake News. They—many times—put the fictional Bat Boy on the cover.
6. REPORT CARDS
And my fourth grade teacher, Ms. McKinley—a six-foot tall mean-ass woman—wrote a misconduct note on all four of my report cars that year, saying, “Mark talks too much in class and is disruptive to the other students”, which always got me grounded. I tried to erase it once, which got me more grounded.